Well I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago And ever since I lead a life of misery and woe My wife she is a tyrant around the ?? Ah I'd sell her to the devil for a glass or two of gin
Sure I'll get up and go to work as mild as any man And she'll get up and dress herself and go and have her dram And I chance to say a word it's well I know my due She'll follow me with the fire shovel up and down the room
[Chorus] And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain I swear to God I'll hang meself if I get married again And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain Though I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
When I get up at breakfast time she'll tap me on the head When I come home at dinner time I'll find her drunk in bed When I come home at supper time at patience I must stop 'Cause she drinks what's in the teapot and I must drink the slop
[Chorus]
Well once I asked me scolding wife if I could go to bed She scare gave me an hour on the pillow to lay me head When like a roarin' lion she came bustin' down the door She caught me by the middle and threw me naked on the floor
[Chorus]
Now me and my companions go to a public place She'll search around the neighbourhood until she finds my face She'll hoist me up in ridicule before the company Sayin' 'Petticoats is your master and forever more shall be'
